He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
