I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
