Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
