i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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