and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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