u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
