You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
