She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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