Soap is not a condiment
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
