ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
