My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
