Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
