You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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