I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
