I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
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