watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize