why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
