i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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