I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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