God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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