ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
