We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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