if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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