i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
