How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
