Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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