Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
