Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
