My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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