just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
