every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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