wat bout pragnant strippers??
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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