Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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