i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
