my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
