if you like me you must not know who I am
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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