Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize