Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
