I faked an abortion last night.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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