yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm at about main and main street
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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