Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
