its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
How many fucks given?
0.12846
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
