I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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