It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
