My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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