Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
