are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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