I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
