And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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