I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
do herpes really smell.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
