worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
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Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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