Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
