Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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