It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
