It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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