i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
