How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
