I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
