u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
