let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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