That's when you crack a 10am beer
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
