He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
