WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
