what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
