I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
