And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
